Memoir in Six Words

Through the darkness, find your light.

Blog Reflection

    It is hard to believe that the semester is coming to end and it is even harder to believe that in just a few short weeks I will be graduating college.  A blog has always been on my "bucket list" so to speak, and although this blog is a little different than I had anticipated writing one prior to this class, it still is a blog and it reflects me in many of the entries.  It feels good to check "start a blog" off my bucket list, even if this is not the content I originally thought I would write about.  This blog serves as a good way to look back on the work that I have accomplished this semester in this course.  Although some of the blogs I found to be more challenging than others, each post reminded me to take a deeper look at the stories we were reading and to find the messages that the author is trying to convey through that story.  The blogs even allowed me to take a look at myself, especially in the first blog post I did about sharing our favorite place.  Going back and reading that post made me happy, and in the midst of studying, writing papers, and in moments where I wonder if I can get everything done, that post brings me back to my "happy place" again.  This blog has taught me how to push myself while reading books that I may not even realize have an underlying message, and it really allowed me to dig a little deeper.

    One thing I liked best about the blog posts and reading the stories we did this semester was being able to relate it to our own life stories.  We learned quickly that each story we would be reading was about an individual and a journey, and I appreciated that I was able to relate to the stories even if they my journey differs in many ways.  The blog I wrote after reading A Room of One's Own reminded me of how valuable it is to be able to receive the education I do at a college like Saint Mary's.  The story encourages women to find their voice and to take advantage of every opportunity that comes their way, and this blog has allowed me to find my voice even further.  I am more introverted than extroverted so getting the opportunity to express my views through the blog was helpful, considering in class discussions are not necessarily a time where I feel comfortable to do so.  

    This blog also taught me the value of close reading, and I was able to use this technique as I read each book this semester.  The first close reading I did was when we read The Yellow Wallpaper and I analyzed a specific passage that spoke to me.  This allowed me to develop a better sense of what was going on in the story, and reading other posts by various students gave me an even better insight into the story.  I used this technique again in my blog post about Girl, Interrupted, which was interesting because this was about a film, rather than a book or short story.  This film was a bit confusing, dark, and mysterious to me so the blog really allowed me to get a better sense of what was happening and what the story line was about.  In the end I actually enjoyed this film and learning more about it, but it did take some time and deep thinking.  Persepolis was my favorite book that we read, so the post I did on identity is one that I enjoyed writing most.  As a young woman it was easy to relate to the struggles of identity, although my story is much different than Marji's.

    This blog was often times a challenge, but it really helped me in this class to focus on the reading and to enhance my ability to understand the words written, rather than to just quickly get the chapters out of the way.  It is interesting to go back and see how my blogs developed overtime, and even to read more personal posts like the first one I mentioned earlier, and the letter to my sixteen-year-old self.  I feel like I have made improvement as far as close reading, and this blog challenged me in a way that I otherwise never would have experienced.  At first I was prone to overanalyzing my post and making sure that what I said was "good enough" to publish, but as I got further along I realized that it was important to express how I really felt as I connected to the readings.  If I could go back and do things differently it would be to take more time on reflecting before writing.  I am the kind of person who likes to be efficient with my time, so as soon as I am done reading something I wanted to write my thoughts and get my work done.  But, I think reflection is valuable in terms of reading, and I realized that throughout this semester.

Power

"Sleep is another sinking down and it is a deep sleep in which I dream of people who do not yet know they are human. Maybe they are only now being born. It includes me, this cast of people, and there are the four women singing and they are the future, not the past like I first thought. In the dream I am a green branch beginning to bloom, to grow something strong and human and alive" (94).

Omishito is really struggling with the connection that she has to her family after she accompanies Ama who searches, and eventually kills, the endangered panther. After her family discovers that she was involved with the killing of the panther, her family openly disapproves of her choice to do so.  Her mom is devastated that she knew that Omishto knew the government had a law against killing it, yet she did so anyways. But, to Ama the law was not going to stand in the way of her own spiritual beliefs. Omishto is clearly torn between her more modern, westernized mother and the tribe and Ama's understanding of life;she is unsure of where she stands and feels stuck. This inner conflict that Omishto is feeling reminded me of what we talked about on Monday. She seems very unsure of herself, and I think that this dream she is having shows just how badly she wants to be sure of herself. She wants to be free to express who she is, which is beyond her mother's understanding, and I think Omishto is really identifying with the spiritual forces of the tribe in this dream. She states, "they are the future, not the past, like I first thought" (94) and I think this shows her wanting to move forward from the life that she lives in order to be truly alive.

"Servants of the Map"

Throughout a person's life one will experience extreme highs, extreme lows, and moments where things seem to be "just right."  When reading this HONY post I see the mountain as life, and all of the twists and turns that inevitably come along with it.  As humans we are constantly going through uphill battles, steady moments, and breezy moments where things seem to get better.  And just when a person thinks that he or she has it all figured out life seems to repeat this same course and a person may experience some "rough terrain" again.  I think this HONY post is an excellent reminder of what is important in life.  For most of us Saint Mary's girls the goal as a child was to to do well in high school, get into a good college, graduate, and find a job that fulfills your "purpose."  The thing with this plan is that sometimes real life gets in the way, and things do not always work out the way that you once thought they would.  Maybe the major that you originally chose your freshman year seems a little dull and unfulfilling come junior year, or maybe your about to graduate and feel like finding a job on top of school is too much to handle.  I think the importance of this HONY post is to remind us that it really is important to stop and appreciate how far you have come in climbing your mountain.  It is incredibly frustrating to not reach the top, but there are alternative routes and why turn around when you have already made it so far?  During this "climbing of the mountain" it is also important to keep your identity in mind, and not just your goal, which is something I think both the man in the HONY post and Max struggle with.   I applied this post to Max because on his journey he is so focused on reaching the top of his own mountain that he forgets to stay true to his identity and who he truly is, and it seems like he sort of loses himself along the way.  Not giving up on your journey or your climb is important, but it's also important that you do not lose yourself in the midst of reaching the top of your mountain.

Translations: Experiences Reading a Play

Reading Translations was a bit different than reading the other books that we have analyzed and discussed because it is a play, meaning that the story is told in a different format.  What I like about reading a play is that I can sort of visualize and create the voices of the characters in my head and it also helps me to envision the setting of the play for each Act. I think that this helps me really get into the story and to analyze the dialogue a bit more than I do when reading a book.  However, there are some setbacks to reading a play rather than seeing one. While watching a play I like to sit close to the stage to see the facial expressions and body language because I think that really helps to get a better sense of the characters in a story, especially characters such as Sarah who is unable to express herself through speech.  This type of character makes me think that plays are better understood when acted out.  I also felt that some parts of Translation were a bit confusing and I might not have been so confused if the play was taking place on a stage in front of me.  Although plays do tell stories and stories can be read, I think that plays are better off acted out on stage so that a person in the audience can not only hear the dialogue, but also feel the emotion as the actors embrace their characters and make a story come to life.

Adichie

I really enjoyed hearing Adichie's lecture and I think she is truly an inspiring human being. I appreciated how candid she was throughout the entire lecture, and her presence filled the room to encourage both women and men to educate themselves on feminism and to believe it I think it spoke to each person in the audience in different ways.  For me, she brought up many topics that I think are often times overlooked in the monotony of everyday life because I, as a woman, am so used to how our culture is gendered that I often forget to really think about it and how it affects my opportunities and life in general. Most of what she said really spoke to me, but one thing in particular that she said really made me think. She said something along the lines of, "Don't worry about men so much. Girls are raised to think so much about men but men are not raised to do the same about girls." This made me really reflect on our culture and the differences between men and women and I find this statement to be incredibly true based on both my personal experiences and the experiences that I have read and heard.  I think as women we are constantly second guessing ourselves, and we are almost raised to do that whether that's in school, as a parent, or in the workplace.  Adichie really brought this to my attention, and I thought her lecture was extremely informative and well-done.

The Shivering

Two themes that we discussed on Wednesday that I think is seen again in "The Shivering" is personal growth and being heard, and I think in this chapter these two go hand in hand.

Although it takes two unfortunate events in Nigeria to bring two strangers, Ukamaka and Chinedu, together to form a friendship, it seems to be exactly what they both need. As the story within the chapter develops, it is clear to see how these two evolve from friendly strangers to close friends, and it is important to note how through each other they are able to also grow in a personal way.  Initially they develop a friendship based solely on the fact that they are both Nigerian and can relate during a time of pain and confusion for their country, but it turns out to be much more than that.  Ukamaka recently had her heart broken by a guy that she had built her life around, and Chinedu listens to her vent endlessly about the relationship that she had.  This is what Ukamaka needs because she had never had the ability or the opportunity to talk so openly or to be heard in her relationship with her ex.  Chinedu brings to her attention that she should examine her feelings more closely, and he explains that he had been in a similar relationship back home.  This allows Ukamaka to not only be heard but to also listen to someone else and gain another's point of view, which helps her develop a new perspective about her broken relationship.  You can see this realization when Ukamaka says, "How can a person claim to love you and yet want you to do things that suit only them? Udenna was like that" (Adichie 161).  Chinedu, much to Ukamaka's surprise, questions whether or not Udenna, her ex, ever even loved her at all.  Although offended, this is the moment where I think Ukamaka is most changed. She understands that Udenna's behavior did not make any sense, but she wanted him to love her so badly that she was blinded by his offensive actions.  Chinedu's words cut deep into Ukamaka, but he is heard. Therefore, she does not hold a grudge against him and insists that he talks to her.  Ukamaka learns that Chinedu is not even a student at Princeton, and she just staying with a friend while anxiously waiting to get a deportation notice.  I think that Chinedu leans on Ukamaka for support through their friendship even without disclosing this information at first.  They both develop personal growth by hearing each other's different points of view and supporting each other regardless of any differences.